Path to self-control and free from addictions.
We struggle to control our actions, our habits… I thought I was going to be more intelligent and resourceful after college. But what I didn’t expect was, even I will be the victim of certain habits, I never desired in the first place.
There’re obviousley the reasons,
- Academic pressure, smoking.
- All you can chill is only in college, Alcohol.
- Laziness, No more strict teachers or parent around. With freedom came more time to watch tv series, play games all night or sleep till mid-afternoon. And after a hell-like 6 am-11 pm IIT coaching for 2 years in inter, This felt like a paradise…
Of course, there were soo many great things that I loved and gained from college, but right now I wanna keep my focus on the negatives, because today I wanna share with you the secret that helped me get back, like back from the grave of hell habits and depressed life.
The truth about self-control:
You are not in control, completely.
Our mind is equipped with several biases and also limitations. No mistake, It comes through evolution from 4.2 billion years.
The world we live in is complicated, it’s not easy as pie. It’s not like you hunt when you’re hungry and rest in the remaining time. It’s no more like you’re a potter and your son will be the future potter. It’s not simple.
We’re given freedom of choice, and with it comes the elder like a responsibility to make more purposeful choices and intentional effort to succeed. You not only have to protect yourself from distractions but also spend purposeful productive time doing things that matter to you.
Having more control over your habits and your actions, and your mind is a genius advantage.
The Principle & Secret to Self-Control:
Give up something that you love, to build self-control.
And use that self-control to win over the addictions. It’s way easier to give up habits you’ve hated but also kinda addicted too.
I’m sure you’ve heard the stories of the sages who leave their houses, give up their family, relations, possessions, and almost their identity…
Why do they do that? One of their goals is to set free from the world of Maya (desires). Build self-control, so they train their brain to resist any kind of temptations. Aiming for entire control over body and mind.
Or you might wonder, why it’s hard these days for a woman to control their sexual urges or stay single, whereas Indian women throughout history were in line with their beliefs (mostly Pativrata : virtuous wife).
It’s because they too gave up their food, They held their urges, in the name of gods they fasted every week, on behind the scenes, they gave up something they love to build enough resistance to hold down the temptations and not become a victim of them.
Look I’m not judging how should a woman be in this era, I’m stressing about, are you really making the decisions or are the temptations manipulating you into making the wrong decisions over and over again. Are you really in your control?
Can you stick to your words? Do what you said you will do? Can you give up the habits you hate at will? or Are you still the victim of addictions?
In both cases, Sages & Women in past, there is a commonality in their actions and their outcomes.
They give up something, to build resistance in the brain. Enough resistance to say no & stick to it. Or Say yes and stick to the words no matter what.
There is ” No, I will quit smoking from tomorrow and smoking the next day”.
There is “No, I won’t watch Netflix until end of exams & leaving the challenge you set in the middle”.
When you build self-control, you will have the power to prioritize your decisions over short term pleasures and temptations.
It works with anything. It can be as big as sages do (give up everything) or lil like no ice cream or coffee or no chicken for few days to train self-control.
How I quit Smoking and other addictions :
In the final year of graduation when I found out that, the smoking habit was getting out of my control. I decided to quit smoking, but the truth is, it’s so fucking hard to quit. Ask a smoker how many times he tried quitting and the answer will surely be “Soo many times”.
I know if I say that ” I’m not gonna smoke from tomorrow”, & the next day it doesn’t matter what I decided. The temptation will take over and I will inevitably smoke.
After several trial and errors, I decided to take it slow and smooth and follow the proven way.
I had poor self control, So I decided to give up something I love.
“Any dish that is Non-veg is my favorite”, I’d say. Non-veg was something I love.
It was hard, seeing my friends in the classy restaurant having delicious chicken cuisines, it was damn hard watching them have my favorite chicken lollipop, in front of me.
I told myself that “I just need to control these urges for the time being”.
After few days, I felt less tempted when I saw friends having chicken in the hostel. I was building resistance, I could sense it.
After 30 days of not having any non-veg dish, I gave up smoking. This time I was successful. I’ve seen my friends smoking infront of me, but felt no temptation.
They asked me to smoke, “come’on one puff”… I plainly said no and stuck to my decision. I had enough control to back up and resist the temptation.
That’s how I quit smoking.
I not only quit smoking but also decided not to be lazy…
I then continued to wake up at 6 am for the next 196 days straight. I enjoyed the morning breeze, Had more time to work on my skills and some business ideas.
This thing completely turned my life around. By the time I was graduated, I fixed my bad habits, I graduated in time, I worked on my ideas, I was an early riser… Most importantly I started living life on my terms, the way I wanted to.
As a system to continuously build self-control, I took up the challenge to fast once every week.
To make things interesting, I chose Monday, It is the day of my favorite god, Lord Shiva.
“In the name of Lord Shiva”, I said “I’ll fast every Monday”.
This is the first time I’m revealing one of my personal secrets.
Hope this will help you in your progress to your dream life.
XoXo,
Vignan.
