Matthew is one of my favorite actors. I still remember his Oscar-winning speech. Alright alright alright.
If you haven’t watched it, here it is…
His autobiography Greenlights was released in October 2020.
Quick review : soo many candid stories, open heart and listening to the audio book in his style in his tone & in his accent is how you get the best of him out of the book. It’s available on audible.
Here are some of my best highlights :
Red sports car vs truck
“I knew the chicks were going to dig my red sports car even more than my truck, and hence, dig me more.
I’d arrive early to school every morning, park in that third parking lot, and just leeeaaan against it.
I was so cool.
My red sports car was so cool.
A few weeks passed and I started noticing some changes. The chicks, they weren’t digging me like they used to.
It was like they were bored with me leeeaaanin against my red sports car.
After school, they went muddin off road in someone else’s truck instead of cruisin the streets T-tops down with me.”
“I wasn’t getting near as many dates as I used to.
The girls seemed to lose interest in me.
What happened? I wondered. Then one day it hit me. I lost my truck. I lost the effort, the hustle, the mudding, and the megaphone. I lost the fun.
I was too busy leeeaaanin against that candy-red 300ZX with T-tops in the third parking lot. I’d gotten lazy, started looking in the mirror at my hair too often, relying on that red sports car to do the work for me, and it was doing a shitty job.
I’d outfoxed myself when I’d traded in my truck for that red sports car, and I lost my mojo when I did. The next day after school, I went back to that Nissan dealership and traded it back in for my truck.
The day after that I pulled into the first parking lot again, flirted with the ladies from the megaphone, and took them off-road muddin after school. And like clockwork, I was back. Fuckin red sports car.”
Bottom-line : Be the fun guy, dance and have fun. Riches might get you bitches but not the girls you want. So, Don't get cocky... Make more contacts.
Don’t Half-Ass It :
“Taking deep breaths, sweating, I made the call at 7:36 p.m.
Dad answered.
“Hey, Pop,” I said.
“Hey, little buddy, what’s goin on?” he asked.
Another deep breath. “Well, I wanna share something with you.”
“What’s that?”
Oh shit.
“Well, I don’t want to go to law school anymore, I want to go to film school.”
Silence. One. Two. Three. Four. Five seconds.
Then I heard a voice. A kind, inquisitive voice.
“Is that what you wanna do?” he asked.
“Yes sir, Dad, it is.”
Silence. Another five seconds.
“Well…Don’t half-ass it.”
Of all the things my dad could have said, of all the reactions he could have had, Don’t half-ass it were the last words I expected to hear and the best words he could have ever said to me. With those words he not only gave me his blessing and consent, he gave me his approval and validation. It’s what he said and how he said it. He not only gave me privilege, he gave me honor, freedom, and responsibility. With some formidable rocket fuel in his delivery, we made a pact that day. Thanks, Pop.”
Bottom-line : Just don't half-ass around, give everything your best shot.
Is it all in the hands of god?
“If you are there, God,” I prayed,
“I hope you appreciate a man who won’t retreat from the sweat it takes to gain self-determination. I hope you will reward a man who has decided to quit hiding behind the fatal blind belief that it’s all in your hands.”
Bottom-line : Our parents do give credit to god for our wins, usually more than we expect. Own your wins and own your failures. His prayer balanced both God and Own it.
The Pit fight in Africa :
“Later that night I said to Issa, “I have to talk to you about yesterday’s wrestling match. How did I do? I think I held my own.”
Issa chuckled to himself then said, “No, no, no, Daouda. You did very well. Everybody think Michel going to have strong white man named Daouda on his back in no more than ten seconds!” “Really?” I asked.
“Yes, really. Michel not only champion of this village, Michel champion of this village and three villages back!!”
“Ha! So I won? That’s why the village all chanted my name afterward?”
“It is not about win or lose, it is about do you accept the challenge,” Issa said as he looked at me and smiled. “When you did that, you already won.”
Bottom-line : We're often too focused on wins and loses, But its the challenges you take on that narrate the story of yours.
This reminds me of my fear of dancing, but I also wanted to participate in atleast one program before the end of my school life. I never danced before.
So I joined a group performance, we practiced, we added few stunts, it was fun.
When you take up the challenge things workout. Forget about wins and loses. Take up the challenge that matters to you & you've already one.
The target draws the arrow : Camila and Matthew
On watching his woman :
“She made an impression and a definition:
Naughty and fundamental.
Young with a past.
Homegrown and worldly.
Innocent and cunning.
Springtime and salty.
A squaw and a queen.
She was no virgin but she wasn’t for rent.
A mother to be.
She wasn’t selling nothing. Didn’t need to. She knew what she was, who she was, and she owned it. Her own element. A natural law. A proper noun. Inevitable.”
“It was an hour’s drive to the impoundment lot. I insisted on driving her there. On the way, I put one of my favorite CDs in the slot”
“I drove. We listened. Two, three songs in a row would play without either of us uttering a word. Neither of us feeling like we needed to say a thing. Neither of us anxious to fill the quiet gaps. The silence wasn’t awkward, it was golden.“
“I was falling in love.
“What would I have to do to lose you?” I asked.
As I said these words I turned to look at her out of the corner of my eyes, the drink in her right hand already halfway to her mouth as she was moving to take a sip of it. How graceful her hand moved, never hitching, never hesitating, just fluently gliding as it would have if a question like that had never been asked.
The drink reached her lips, and she took a nice, easy sip, her eyes staying with the sunset. Then, she took a relaxed, satisfied swallow, and slowly lowered the glass back down to its wet ring resting place on the wooden arm of her chair.
“Oh, that’s easy,” she said as she turned her head to me.
My heart raced. Her eyes found mine and settled.
“Change,” she said.”
Fatherhood :
“Tears of joy began to run down my cheeks. I looked her way. She was crying the same tears. The photograph was an ultrasound. She was pregnant.
We cried, we laughed, we danced.
The only thing I ever knew I wanted to be was a father.
To me, fatherhood meant a man had made it in life. Growing up, I said “yes sir” and “no sir” to my father and his friends because they were fathers. Fatherhood, what I most revered in life, what I was most impressed with, was now what I was about to become more involved with. The message of manhood that came to me at my own father’s passing had newborn relevance as I became one myself.
Yes sir.”
Advice from his Mom :
“You always look like you’re havin fun when I see your work, Matthew, and that’s what life’s all about, keep havin fun.”
“The greatest achievement in life is your kids, Matthew, so have a bunch, and remember, grandkids are twice as nice and half the work.”
Bottom-line : Find ways to make your work fun, coz you're it for the long run.
Marriage :
“why isn’t momma a mcconaughey?” my inquisitive three-year-old son, Levi, asked me one day.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“I’m Levi McConaughey, Vida’s Vida McConaughey, but Momma is Camila Alves. Why doesn’t she have our last name?”
I thought for a second.
“Because we’re not married yet.”
“Why not?” he asked.
Good question…I do want to marry Momma. I just don’t feel the need to. If I marry Momma, I wanna feel like I need to. I don’t wanna do it because that’s what we’re supposed to do, or because I merely want to, I wanna do it when that’s what I need to do.”
“Are you afraid to?” he asked.”
“Yeah, I guess I am a little bit.”
“Afraid of what?”
“…Of losing myself,” I said.”
“The next day I went to my pastor.
We talked about the sacrament of marriage and getting beyond my fears. He talked to me about the mystery of marriage, and how when two people who are meant to be together unite, the adventure of livin side by side does not steal the individual’s sense of self, rather it enlightens and informs it. How, when two people come together to marry, they each arrive as one whole being, and in marriage we don’t lose half of ourselves, we become more of ourselves. Through this covenant with God and our spouse we actually triple our existence and become three times what we were. Three entities: wife, husband, and God, in unification, unanimous. 1 x 1 = 3. A mystical multiplication.
“It takes courage and sacrifice,” he said.
Then he challenged me. “What’s the bigger risk for you, Matthew? Going on this adventure or continuing the one you’re on?”
You aren’t successful either because you quit too early or you haven’t taken enough risks.
Matthew McConaughey
Insightful piece
Excellent write-up
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